I have noticed there are a few “friends” I only hear from when they need something or want me to do something for them. No, ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ at random times; no, ‘I saw this and it made me think of you…’ I only hear from them when they need advice, want me do to something, or — the worst horror of them all — they have signed up for a direct sale company and I am on their ‘list’ of people they want to ‘offer their fabulous opportunity to!’
I bring this up, not to vent (well, not completely) but because this is something that affects all of us. I know when I get those voice mails, phone calls, etc. and I haven’t heard from someone in a while, they want something. They are not friends, they are manipulators and users. It upsets me, and the negative energy it creates causes me to lose valuable time I could be doing something else, focused on this. (It’s to the point, there are a few of them that never fail to reach out to me, I bet they don’t even know anything that has happened in my life the last two years..)
It also upsets me because, I do like helping people. But, when I feel like the relationship is very one-sided or unbalanced, I am not likely to feel like I have any obligation to a friendship to help any longer. And I do not like feeling that way, but I am realizing, for myself, it is better to take care of ME and my time, so I can be more fully in the present and be there for those who DO make me a priority.
Do you experience any of this? Do you have friends who only email or text when they want a favor or need you? Do you need help setting boundaries? Let’s talk.