If you are a follower of my blog or my Facebook page, you will quickly find, I am a firm believer in our words have tremendous power. I can tell when I have been speaking negatively about my situation, or when I have spoke words of love, faith, and, most of all, hope.
I have also learned to be careful about what I allow others to speak over my life as well. I am certain my mother does not mean to send out a negative thought into the Universe about me, but when she speaks of her fears and worries about me, she does. Our loved ones, without meaning to, can release negativity into our lives when we allow them to.
One example is when I started my own business several years ago. I was told several things that needled me slowly, until I closed it up. “You will have to work too many hours,” “you won’t like having to drive to meet with clients,” and more comments that may have just been said in conversation but that slowly, surely, planted seeds of doubt in my mind. I did work a lot of hours, but it was balanced and scheduled around my needs. I didn’t like the driving part, because I had a few clients who lived 45 minutes away, but I did it because it was enjoyable. Still, those thoughts were planted and at the first chance to toss in the towel, I did.
How do you prevent someone, especially a loved one, from speaking something negative into your life? First, you establish your boundaries and let them know it is not acceptable. You don’t have to be confrontational or ugly in your stand — if anything, I prefer a place of love to be the basis for any discussion. Lovingly tell them, “I know you may not mean to speak this way, but the words you are choosing do not line up with my personal truth.” If they do not understand, that’s fine. They don’t have to understand. You do.
It’s easier to declare this boundary when you know what your truths actually are. Do you believe in yourself enough to pursue your own business? Do you have enough security in your relationship to not worry if others do not approve? What truths do you hold dear — think about that for a moment. We often find our truths when we are forced to have to defend them, and then, we end up making an emotionally charged, unprepared statement because we haven’t recognized what we do hold to be truth.
By establishing your own truths first, it is easier to always draw your boundaries and not let anyone speak words of defeat, failure, or anything less than loving success over and into your life. But remember: everything always begins with YOU.
Do you need help establishing your truths? I can help. I offer coaching via Skype or email.